Hi everyone!
I hope you are keeping well. Before I go into this post today I just want to take a second to say thank you so much to everyone and anyone that took the time out of their day to read my first post, I greatly appreciate it. If this is your first time to my blog then thank you as well, I recieved so much love and support when I announced I was coming back to blogging, it really warmed my heart and brought a smile to my face.
If you didn't guess it already from the title this post is going to be about the COVID-19 lockdown we are all living through and have been living through for the better part of a year. I felt incredibly torn about whether or not to post about the lockdown as it is such a difficult time for so many and also on the other end of it I know there are so many people that are so fed up talking about it!
I can safely say I am fed up of discussing it, reading about it and researching it but at the same time it is pretty much all that is going on for us right now, so it would be very strange for me to not bring it up at least once.
Lockdown the first time round was very challenging for me, as it was for an awful lot of people.
The one good thing from the first lockdown is that I started up my "Know Your Worth" Facebook group. I started it to help people talk openly about their mental health and to have some company during lockdown, even if it was just online.
Almost a year later and "Know Your Worth" has over 200 members and we are still having zoom calls. It brings me a lot of joy and I guess I could say pride that I have created a space where people feel like they can open up and talk about what is going on in their lives. One of the biggest blessings in life is to have someone trust you.
This second lockdown feels a little bit like a polar opposite from last year, for me personally. On Monday 25th January 2021 I took my last anti-depressant. A huge step for me.
The main reason for coming off of my medication is because my main goal for this year is to get pregnant with my 2nd child. The specific type of anti-depressant I was on I couldn't be on whilst pregnant. It was too dangerous. So I have spent the last two months or so lowering my dosage, it is a very strange feeling to be completely finished with it now but I am hanging on to the pride I have within myself for achieving this.
While this second lockdown was to be expected and we all had a better idea of what it would be like, it is still really difficult at times.
While a lot of people have started intensly online shopping, continuing zoom calls, doing diamond paintings, baking or selling Body Shop I just couldn't get into any of it!
But now I have gotten myself into super duper OCD cleaning my flat, video calling with my friends, walking everyday and now my blog! (maybe even a cheeky TikTok here and there)
I will confess, lockdown has driven me back to religiously playing Kim Kardashian Hollywood.
Pictured above is one of my new favourite things to do, John bought me adult colouring books and I find them amazingly useful when I am having a bad day with my anxiety, it's so easy to get lost in the picture you are doing and it brings a great sense of achievement when you finish a page.
*random thought as I am typing*
Surely I can't be the only one that majorly starts to procrastinate when my anxiety kicks in?
Here is a quote I found on Instagram that I really liked:
"People with anxiety are more likely to procrastinate their work and responsibilities because of those anxious feelings." - notsosecretdiaryofanxiety
^ I guess that answered my question ^
I'm sure with all of the spare time we now have everyone has seen the posts online about always checking in with your friends and family members. Now, I would like to think that we all do that but I know that is not always the case. Use this time during lockdown to grow your relationships with your friends and family members. Get to know other people better, you could come out of this situation with a new friend if you really put your mind to it!
Anyway, I am going to bring this post to an end.
I'd like to thank our fantastic NHS and keyworkers for all they have done/are doing during this pandemic.
I thought it would be nice to end this post with my new favourite picture of me and Amelia that I took this afternoon when she woke up from her nap.
If you have read this far I would like to say thank you. I hope you are keeping well, I hope you are happy and just know you will get through this.
Much love,
Hannah 💚
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